When thoughts become things..

  I just finished watching Mirzapur II and this time around probably I was looking at it slightly differently than the last. The characters of the series are exaggerated versions what we see everyday probably. Munna Tripathi constantly wanting to prove himself for whatever it was worth . Guddu, Golu and Beena all screaming revenge.  Munna is on a pointless quest and is seemingly destructive all his life waiting for an approval from his father. How many times are we on a quest for seeking someone's approval? And is it absolutely necessary? He probably spent his entire lifetime just doing that. A colossal waste of time.  He is also sadly unlucky with matters of the heart . But he is learning to love and he does get there. All he needed was some reassurance.  Guddu, Golu and Beena on the other are each carrying boulders of very very intense grief and pain . And their only reason for existence has become revenge. What a wasted emotion again? Could they have let go of the...

 In a society where very little attention is paid to the repercussions of behaviors and patterns, some things become intrinsic to us. Sab chalta hai ! (Everything works). You are in school and your classmates bully you - it works. You, in turn, bully other people and this whole cycle is one you are unaware of which may translate into other areas of your life.  The huge expanse of things said to over a period become second nature to you. A belief system that is you start to internalize. Statements such as "I am dumb" "I am fat". People telling you this over and over. The most common being "You are not good enough". Someone at some point may have said this to you to remind you of your shortcomings and you somehow internalized it. That one statement manifested in many ways and maybe in your relationships and work-life today. This has happened over a period of years and you repeat the pattern. This time you are the perpetrator. You want to say to the same thin...

 頂きます（いただきます） to receive; to get; to accept; to take (humble). This explains why you say it before you eat. You're "receiving" food, after all. Itadakimasu (and its dictionary form itadaku 頂く いただ ) comes from Japan's roots in Buddhism, which teaches respect for all living things. I was introduced to itadaki masu by my Japanese friend Etsuko who had dinner with us at my home in Lonavala. It turned out that Etsuko had a sudden pasta craving and wanted me to cook some for her.  Before our meal, Etsuko thanked my mother with clasped palms as a gesture of gratitude, for the hands that cook our meals. Etsuko then introduced us to the concept of itadak imasu and also told us that this meant saying thank you to everyone in the chain of food distribution - bringing to mind the farmer and his family, the truck driver who drives the produce to the city and so on . A second of thought is given to each person in this chain of bringing food to our table. At that point, I remember b...

  I n an instance, you find yourself deeply consumed by this one emotion could be anger, fear, sadness, etc.  And before you know it you let the emotion consume you. You spend hours dwelling in that uncomfortable space. Not knowing how to process what you are feeling. You talk to a couple of people or maybe even an expert if it is too extreme and you notice you are already a caged in that state of mind.  Talking to other people makes you feel better but you still cannot completely let go. Now take a step back. The only thing between you and that state of being maybe you. Not that you switch the button whenever you feel like. But my favorite learning has been "Sit with the emotion", in other words, do not fight it. Feel it, let it pass and it will pass. But this is an individual process, knowing that your feelings are valid. Would you fight with a positive emotion like happiness, no right? You are most likely going to fight with a negative emotion because it makes you unco...

Throughout our lives we are expected to do things for each other, even it is something we wouldn't like to do. Pressing the no button becomes difficult, almost impossible. As kids - our relationship with our parents is one of co-dependency unless circumstances decide otherwise. Our parents are equally dependent and thus starts the cycle of expectations and living up to people's expectations. We grow up do to these things for our friends, partners, children, in-laws, and so on. Why - because this is the way it is supposed to be? Almost like a generational curse. We end up becoming a similar kind of parent, not letting children get out of our clasp. Whether we like it or not, we are already in the trap. This whole process can be very exhausting for us and our relationships. In the scheme of things, we forget about ourselves, our needs, our dreams. It is almost like quicksand that cannot come out of it. Some of us learn the hard way and able to make a clear distinction of putting ...

So sometimes when I am peeling an onion , some of the petals aren't great . So I happen to keep the good one's , sometimes I would like to throw the entire onion if its bad . But today I want to talk about the layers. We don’t really count how many layers each onion has . I don’t do it :). But I am sure someone, somewhere has . Just like us we have an outer layer and then multiple layers of emotions, feelings and behaviors. And each of those layers have their complexities. Sometimes we are not even aware of the layers. But for those of us who are, have been peeling them one by one . Each of our outer emotions for eg. anger also has multiple layers of emotions like guilt or shame . Now if I had an onion that had bad layers I would just throw off bad petals and probably keep the good ones. We probably don’t do that enough with ourselves enough. It is important to notice the layers . Feel our emotions especially the one's that do not serve us . And just throw them ...

  This is an idea that is not new to us. Starting from the time we wake up , we are in a constant consumption mode . From social media , mindless scrolling to the continuous bombarding of news content . At some point we do not have a filter that makes us consciously stop or limit our screen time. What if we did not have access to any media for a day or maybe longer.? There have been experiments conducted with a sample size of individuals without internet access . These individuals were tracked for a long period of time since 1995 and it turned out that there was a great impact on their overall wellbeing. The more we engross ourselves with constantly keeping ourselves updated , the more our anxiety and stress levels tend to increase. This constant download of information ,whether needed or not drains our mental energy. Without any conscious realization we become exhausted. So let's back up for a bit ? What are we consuming and it is really necessary.? Just like our body needs a bala...