I recently met an 84-year-old lovely lady by the pool at a friend’s apartment complex. I was sitting there watching my friend’s son swim when she approached me and asked if she could sit next to me.
Neither of us asked the other’s name.
We spent the next hour together, and I found myself completely fascinated as I listened to the stories of her life.
Although her family was originally from Kerala, she was born and raised in Chennai before moving to Noida, where she spent most of her adult life.
She studied for a BSc in Mathematics and got a job with the Department of Defence. But life had other priorities for her. On her way to her very first day at work, her husband told her she could not work. She resigned that very same day, against her wishes.
She began tutoring children up to the sixth grade. She smiled as she said she wasn’t like her sister, who had completed an MSc in Aviation Medicine. I didn’t even know such a field existed. “Had I studied more,” she said, “I would have taught students until the twelfth grade.”
She also told me that when she wanted to pursue her graduation, her parents strongly opposed it. It was her uncle who intervened, making it possible for her to board the only train that ran from Coimbatore to Chennai at the time—the Blue Mountain Express, a steam engine train in the 1960s. She travelled alone into her future.
As she looked around the apartment complex, she said, “I wish I had worn salwar kameez more often. I became so used to sarees. I should have switched earlier in life. It only takes a few minutes to wear a saree, but salwar kameez and trousers are simply easier.” Back in day she wore half sarees and had to transition to a proper saree in her teens.
She came from a family of eleven children. Speaking about one of her sisters, she said she had passed away a couple of years ago because she had become too dependent on her husband. “That is why a person should always remain independent,” she said. “Look at me—I go for my walks every day. The only thing I can’t do is book an Uber, but I should learn.”
Now she spends her time between her daughter who lives in the US and her son based in India. She was excited to meet her family in Kannur for a family reunion the following week.
There was something about her that stayed with me. She was resilient, steadfast, quietly bold and deeply inspiring.
The reason I write about her is not because she was 84. It is because, at 84, she was still looking forward to life. She was still curious, still learning, still embracing independence, and still finding joy in meeting strangers.
Before we parted, “Keep yourself busy,” she said. “Stay occupied. Meet people.”
Sometimes conversations happen when you give them and when someone simply asks if the seat next to you is free.
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