Skip to main content

Are you a people pleaser?

A people pleaser maybe some one who just cannot say no, at the cost of making other people happy. It could mean that you want to avoid conflict. Most often than not people pleasing is simply exhausting.

Where does people pleasing come from?

Sometimes from the need to be accepted .

Fear of rejection is a driver that makes most of us become people pleasers.

A constant sense to indicate that you may be hurting the other person by saying no.

People pleasing would mean constantly allowing people to cross your boundaries. It is therefore important to reflect and understand what your boundaries are .

While it is seen as a nice trait in people at a superficial level , it can be equally damaging.

You may find people taking you for granted.

You may find yourself physically or emotionally drained.

You may find yourself ending up in an abusive situation.

Being nice to people, may not always be a good at the cost of your peace and the rate of emotional depletion.

Learning to say No doesn’t come into play overnight. It needs a lot of practice , if this is a habitual pattern.

Putting yourself first: It is important that you
pay attention to your own feelings and emotions.

It is not necessary to make a compromise: It is very necessary to prioritize your own values when you make a decision to saying yes to please someone.

Once you learn to break the pattern of people pleasing , you will learn to harness the energy that has been so draining this far. Put yourself first ALWAYS.

 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

itadaki Mas - The Japanese thank you for the meal at the table .

 頂きます（いただきます） to receive; to get; to accept; to take (humble). This explains why you say it before you eat. You're "receiving" food, after all. Itadakimasu (and its dictionary form itadaku 頂く いただ ) comes from Japan's roots in Buddhism, which teaches respect for all living things. I was introduced to itadaki masu by my Japanese friend Etsuko who had dinner with us at my home in Lonavala. It turned out that Etsuko had a sudden pasta craving and wanted me to cook some for her.  Before our meal, Etsuko thanked my mother with clasped palms as a gesture of gratitude, for the hands that cook our meals. Etsuko then introduced us to the concept of itadak imasu and also told us that this meant saying thank you to everyone in the chain of food distribution - bringing to mind the farmer and his family, the truck driver who drives the produce to the city and so on . A second of thought is given to each person in this chain of bringing food to our table. At that point, I remember b...
1 comment
Read more

Always fill your own cup first...

Throughout our lives we are expected to do things for each other, even it is something we wouldn't like to do. Pressing the no button becomes difficult, almost impossible. As kids - our relationship with our parents is one of co-dependency unless circumstances decide otherwise. Our parents are equally dependent and thus starts the cycle of expectations and living up to people's expectations. We grow up do to these things for our friends, partners, children, in-laws, and so on. Why - because this is the way it is supposed to be? Almost like a generational curse. We end up becoming a similar kind of parent, not letting children get out of our clasp. Whether we like it or not, we are already in the trap. This whole process can be very exhausting for us and our relationships. In the scheme of things, we forget about ourselves, our needs, our dreams. It is almost like quicksand that cannot come out of it. Some of us learn the hard way and able to make a clear distinction of putting ...
Post a Comment
Read more

That which holds us ....

  I am going to stick to the connect with the Earth element that I wrote about last week. The pandemic has given us a lot of time to observe and re-think some things, right from fitness to looking inward and most definitely outward. It has also made us conscious of the environment. We now realize that maybe we didn’t need to consume so much in the materialistic sense. Our wardrobes are full of clothes, and our shoes think we are dead or something (At least mine think I am :)… I miss them too ). After having consumed so much - we wonder if we can differentiate between a need and a want. This may be an excellent time to ponder over some of these parts of our daily lives. We have a place of influence in our homes. We may be primary or secondary consumers of many products, which may help us practice waste management or avoid plastic. You may notice that these products are slightly expensive. But if we can invest in our shoes and our clothes and our lipsticks and our nail paints. You g...
Post a Comment
Read more