Skip to main content

Holding a space

 Holding a space is a very beautiful concept and some of us may be familiar with the concept in a very different form.

Often when we share intimate relationships with our families, friends, or a romantic partner, we have a tendency to judge the person and may not fully be listening to what the other person is saying. How many times do we find ourselves responding to someone in our head, while the person is talking to us?
Holding a space would mean not trivializing something that means a lot to a person who is telling you about how they feel. In their head, it is big, maybe not in yours. Respect that.
Be present for the person. Be there.


The most important part of holding a space for someone or yourself is allowing the person to feel what they want to feel, without giving your own opinions or suggestions.
So for example a child comes to you crying and is upset, you try not to say statements like "you are brave" or distract the child by bringing up some form of instant gratification. All you need to do is listen and acknowledge the feelings of the other person.
This space has to be held without feelings of shame or guilt. A safe space.
When you hold a space for a person, it also means that the person trusts you. Allow the person to trust their own intuition and wisdom, even if it’s a child.
Holding space for someone else actually starts with holding space for yourself without any judgments and allowing yourself to feel.
Hold that space unconditionally for yourself and for others. Love and light.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

itadaki Mas - The Japanese thank you for the meal at the table .

 頂きます（いただきます） to receive; to get; to accept; to take (humble). This explains why you say it before you eat. You're "receiving" food, after all. Itadakimasu (and its dictionary form itadaku 頂く いただ ) comes from Japan's roots in Buddhism, which teaches respect for all living things. I was introduced to itadaki masu by my Japanese friend Etsuko who had dinner with us at my home in Lonavala. It turned out that Etsuko had a sudden pasta craving and wanted me to cook some for her.  Before our meal, Etsuko thanked my mother with clasped palms as a gesture of gratitude, for the hands that cook our meals. Etsuko then introduced us to the concept of itadak imasu and also told us that this meant saying thank you to everyone in the chain of food distribution - bringing to mind the farmer and his family, the truck driver who drives the produce to the city and so on . A second of thought is given to each person in this chain of bringing food to our table. At that point, I remember b...
1 comment
Read more

Are you a people pleaser?

A people pleaser maybe some one who just cannot say no, at the cost of making other people happy. It could mean that you want to avoid conflict. Most often than not people pleasing is simply exhausting. Where does people pleasing come from? Sometimes from the need to be accepted . Fear of rejection is a driver that makes most of us become people pleasers. A constant sense to indicate that you may be hurting the other person by saying no. People pleasing would mean constantly allowing people to cross your boundaries. It is therefore important to reflect and understand what your boundaries are . While it is seen as a nice trait in people at a superficial level , it can be equally damaging. You may find people taking you for granted. You may find yourself physically or emotionally drained. You may find yourself ending up in an abusive situation. Being nice to people, may not always be a good at the cost of your peace and the rate of emotional depletion. Learning to say No doesn’t come int...
9 comments
Read more

Millenials chup baithe the?

\ ​ Over the past 10 days, it has occurred to me that people have been asking, “Millennials chup baithe the?” or “Millennials ne apne time mein kiya kya?” The honest answer, as a millennial, is: “Not Enough.” We were not a generation of revolutionaries on the scale that your generation has been. We are a generation that grew up at a time, when life, from our perspective, seemed relatively normal. Personally, I do not remember an incident that demanded a collective voice of action. But in hindsight, perhaps we could have spoken up. We were taught to put our heads down, listen to our elders and keep quiet. Don’t talk back. Respect anyone who was older than you. We could not question our teachers for fear of being reprimanded. Our biggest act of rebellion was coming home at 6:15 p.m. when our curfew was 6:00 p.m. We had to study, find a job and live our lives. Never challenge the status quo. That’s why many of us didn’t even know how to negotiate a salary or ask our bosses for leave. We w...
Post a Comment
Read more