There is no parenting 101 manual

Add caption

Parenting is probably one of the toughest tasks at hand . You would never know if you are being a good parent,but you tried your best . You didn't fail.

You just didn't know any better . You weren't given a Parenting 101 manual . I am not a parent, but from the place I am at , I believe I am in a position to emphatize with both the parent and the child . And there is always a catch 22.

As a parent it is extremely challenging to deal with situations you weren't prepared for. While we do know that we are doing our best , may be we need to change our approach. We cannot compare our childhoods and use them as a reference point .

Respect doesn't mean your child should always give in. It also doesn't mean you are always right just because you were taught that a parent is always right . Children have a voice sometimes and they say things from a very different place. They don't realise it is going to hurt you. Do not let your ego define the relationship. As a parent your idea of love may be different. These days children often ask for privacy something which we never did , it's important to understand that yes privacy maybe something they want . Children are also very vocal and probably fearless to some extent .Most of us have been brought up in an environment where the parent is always supposed to be right or wiser and respect is commanded .

Being brought up in a culture with no boundaries may make it difficult for us to understand. The fear of whether the child may be doing something wrong in their private space makes us overprotective sometimes . I must admit it is a delicate line , one which needs to be treaded with a lot of caution . Often times our self expression of love may be something that a child doesn't identify with , they may see it as being controlling. There are countless such parenting moments . Being the bigger person is not easy . But sometimes we may need to take a step back and maybe think where these rigid ideas are coming from . No one ever said it was easy . Also never allow yourself to think you failed. Remember you always did your best in your capacity and understanding . Much love.

Comments

Millenials chup baithe the?

\ Over the past 10 days, it has occurred to me that people have been asking, “Millennials chup baithe the?” or “Millennials ne apne time mein kiya kya?” The honest answer, as a millennial, is: “Not Enough.” We were not a generation of revolutionaries on the scale that your generation has been. We are a generation that grew up at a time, when life, from our perspective, seemed relatively normal. Personally, I do not remember an incident that demanded a collective voice of action. But in hindsight, perhaps we could have spoken up. We were taught to put our heads down, listen to our elders and keep quiet. Don’t talk back. Respect anyone who was older than you. We could not question our teachers for fear of being reprimanded. Our biggest act of rebellion was coming home at 6:15 p.m. when our curfew was 6:00 p.m. We had to study, find a job and live our lives. Never challenge the status quo. That’s why many of us didn’t even know how to negotiate a salary or ask our bosses for leave. We w...

Are you a people pleaser?

A people pleaser maybe some one who just cannot say no, at the cost of making other people happy. It could mean that you want to avoid conflict. Most often than not people pleasing is simply exhausting. Where does people pleasing come from? Sometimes from the need to be accepted . Fear of rejection is a driver that makes most of us become people pleasers. A constant sense to indicate that you may be hurting the other person by saying no. People pleasing would mean constantly allowing people to cross your boundaries. It is therefore important to reflect and understand what your boundaries are . While it is seen as a nice trait in people at a superficial level , it can be equally damaging. You may find people taking you for granted. You may find yourself physically or emotionally drained. You may find yourself ending up in an abusive situation. Being nice to people, may not always be a good at the cost of your peace and the rate of emotional depletion. Learning to say No doesn’t come int...

itadaki Mas - The Japanese thank you for the meal at the table .

頂きます（いただきます） to receive; to get; to accept; to take (humble). This explains why you say it before you eat. You're "receiving" food, after all. Itadakimasu (and its dictionary form itadaku 頂くいただ ) comes from Japan's roots in Buddhism, which teaches respect for all living things. I was introduced to itadaki masu by my Japanese friend Etsuko who had dinner with us at my home in Lonavala. It turned out that Etsuko had a sudden pasta craving and wanted me to cook some for her. Before our meal, Etsuko thanked my mother with clasped palms as a gesture of gratitude, for the hands that cook our meals. Etsuko then introduced us to the concept of itadak imasu and also told us that this meant saying thank you to everyone in the chain of food distribution - bringing to mind the farmer and his family, the truck driver who drives the produce to the city and so on . A second of thought is given to each person in this chain of bringing food to our table. At that point, I remember b...

When thoughts become things..

Search This Blog