Skip to main content

There is no parenting 101 manual





Add caption


Parenting is probably one of the toughest tasks at hand  . You would never know if you are being a good parent,but you tried your best . You didn't fail.
You just didn't know any better . You weren't given a Parenting 101 manual . I am not a parent, but from the place I am at , I believe I am in a position to emphatize with both the parent and the child . And there is always a catch 22.
As a parent it is extremely challenging to deal with situations you weren't prepared for.  While we do know that we are doing our best , may be we need to change our approach. We cannot compare our childhoods and use them as a reference point .
Respect doesn't mean your child should always give in. It also doesn't mean you are always right just because you were taught that a parent is always right . Children have a voice sometimes and they say things from a very different place. They don't realise it is going to hurt you. Do not let your ego define the relationship. As a parent your idea of love may be different. These days children often ask for privacy something which we never did , it's important to understand that yes privacy maybe something they want . Children are also very vocal and probably fearless to some extent .Most of us have been brought up in an environment where the parent is always supposed to be right or wiser and respect is commanded .
Being brought up in a culture with no boundaries may make it difficult for us to understand. The fear of whether the child may be doing something wrong in their private space makes us overprotective sometimes . I must admit it is a delicate line , one which needs to be treaded with a lot of caution . Often times our self expression of love may be something that a child doesn't identify with , they may see it as being controlling. There are countless such parenting moments . Being the bigger person is not easy . But sometimes we may need to take a step back and maybe think where these rigid ideas are coming from . No one ever said it was easy . Also never allow yourself to think you failed. Remember you always did your best in your capacity and understanding . Much love.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

itadaki Mas - The Japanese thank you for the meal at the table .

 頂きます(いただきます) to receive; to get; to accept; to take (humble). This explains why you say it before you eat. You're "receiving" food, after all. Itadakimasu (and its dictionary form itadaku 頂く いただ ) comes from Japan's roots in Buddhism, which teaches respect for all living things. I was introduced to itadaki masu by my Japanese friend Etsuko who had dinner with us at my home in Lonavala. It turned out that Etsuko had a sudden pasta craving and wanted me to cook some for her.  Before our meal, Etsuko thanked my mother with clasped palms as a gesture of gratitude, for the hands that cook our meals. Etsuko then introduced us to the concept of itadak imasu and also told us that this meant saying thank you to everyone in the chain of food distribution - bringing to mind the farmer and his family, the truck driver who drives the produce to the city and so on . A second of thought is given to each person in this chain of bringing food to our table. At that point, I remember b...

Be like the moss :)

  Have you ever noticed "moss" ?Yes,  the green stuff that grows all over . Have you ever paid attention to the moss growing on a rock or a wall . Where I grew up, there is a lot of moss when it rains. It always makes the wall look colorful with different shades of green. Does the moss know it doesn’t get any attention from us ? Does it care ? Perhaps not. It continues to provide a great habitat and is a source of food for many insects. Did you know that the moss helps the ecosystem perform effectively ? It plays quite an interesting role in retaining water, stabilizing the ground and removing CO2. In World War II, Sphagnum  moss  was used as a bandage to stop bleeding wounds and it had some antibiotic effects. So some mosses have healing properties too.   Now does the moss know that it is such a critical part of the ecosystem and still does not get the attention it deserves. ? But does it stop thriving or does it selflessly continue doing its jo...

Are you a people pleaser?

A people pleaser maybe some one who just cannot say no, at the cost of making other people happy. It could mean that you want to avoid conflict. Most often than not people pleasing is simply exhausting. Where does people pleasing come from? Sometimes from the need to be accepted . Fear of rejection is a driver that makes most of us become people pleasers. A constant sense to indicate that you may be hurting the other person by saying no. People pleasing would mean constantly allowing people to cross your boundaries. It is therefore important to reflect and understand what your boundaries are . While it is seen as a nice trait in people at a superficial level , it can be equally damaging. You may find people taking you for granted. You may find yourself physically or emotionally drained. You may find yourself ending up in an abusive situation. Being nice to people, may not always be a good at the cost of your peace and the rate of emotional depletion. Learning to say No doesn’t come int...