Skip to main content

Self -compassion

 


Today I want to talk about self-compassion. Most often than not we have a lot of compassion for others, but probably when it comes to us, we forget about compassion.
Think about a time when you felt compassion for someone. Could be a family member or a friend or even a person on the street?
Now pause and think about what are some of the things you do or say out of compassion.
Very naturally, some of us would offer a hug or just say something meaningful to make the other person feel better.
But when it comes to us, we are quite judgmental. We are harsh critics of ourselves. Self-compassion may just mean just being kind to ourselves.
Quietening that critical voice within that keeps nagging us, mostly telling us that we are either no good enough or we are falling short of something somewhere. Pay attention to this self-talk.
Our brain is wired in a way that the more we feed it with critical talk, it accepts the feed.
The only way to rewire it or apply neuroplasticity is to change the story and the narrative.
Accept the fact that we are all imperfect beings and also acknowledge the fact that we should be kind to ourselves.
A lot of negative emotions like fear, guilt, shame have the same effect as sleep deprivation and research suggests that self-compassion and kindness ease the are of the pre-frontal cortex.
The self-talks if negative do become a habit and in turn, lead to stress and a certain level of anxiety.
Practicing self-compassion has remarkable effects on our self-esteem and it starts with a very simple thought of simply being kind to ourselves. It's time to stop beating yourself up. Compassion should start with us, only then can we show compassion to others around us. Show yourself some love:)


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

itadaki Mas - The Japanese thank you for the meal at the table .

 頂きます（いただきます） to receive; to get; to accept; to take (humble). This explains why you say it before you eat. You're "receiving" food, after all. Itadakimasu (and its dictionary form itadaku 頂く いただ ) comes from Japan's roots in Buddhism, which teaches respect for all living things. I was introduced to itadaki masu by my Japanese friend Etsuko who had dinner with us at my home in Lonavala. It turned out that Etsuko had a sudden pasta craving and wanted me to cook some for her.  Before our meal, Etsuko thanked my mother with clasped palms as a gesture of gratitude, for the hands that cook our meals. Etsuko then introduced us to the concept of itadak imasu and also told us that this meant saying thank you to everyone in the chain of food distribution - bringing to mind the farmer and his family, the truck driver who drives the produce to the city and so on . A second of thought is given to each person in this chain of bringing food to our table. At that point, I remember b...
1 comment
Read more

Always fill your own cup first...

Throughout our lives we are expected to do things for each other, even it is something we wouldn't like to do. Pressing the no button becomes difficult, almost impossible. As kids - our relationship with our parents is one of co-dependency unless circumstances decide otherwise. Our parents are equally dependent and thus starts the cycle of expectations and living up to people's expectations. We grow up do to these things for our friends, partners, children, in-laws, and so on. Why - because this is the way it is supposed to be? Almost like a generational curse. We end up becoming a similar kind of parent, not letting children get out of our clasp. Whether we like it or not, we are already in the trap. This whole process can be very exhausting for us and our relationships. In the scheme of things, we forget about ourselves, our needs, our dreams. It is almost like quicksand that cannot come out of it. Some of us learn the hard way and able to make a clear distinction of putting ...
Post a Comment
Read more

That which holds us ....

  I am going to stick to the connect with the Earth element that I wrote about last week. The pandemic has given us a lot of time to observe and re-think some things, right from fitness to looking inward and most definitely outward. It has also made us conscious of the environment. We now realize that maybe we didn’t need to consume so much in the materialistic sense. Our wardrobes are full of clothes, and our shoes think we are dead or something (At least mine think I am :)… I miss them too ). After having consumed so much - we wonder if we can differentiate between a need and a want. This may be an excellent time to ponder over some of these parts of our daily lives. We have a place of influence in our homes. We may be primary or secondary consumers of many products, which may help us practice waste management or avoid plastic. You may notice that these products are slightly expensive. But if we can invest in our shoes and our clothes and our lipsticks and our nail paints. You g...
Post a Comment
Read more