Skip to main content

Self -compassion

 


Today I want to talk about self-compassion. Most often than not we have a lot of compassion for others, but probably when it comes to us, we forget about compassion.
Think about a time when you felt compassion for someone. Could be a family member or a friend or even a person on the street?
Now pause and think about what are some of the things you do or say out of compassion.
Very naturally, some of us would offer a hug or just say something meaningful to make the other person feel better.
But when it comes to us, we are quite judgmental. We are harsh critics of ourselves. Self-compassion may just mean just being kind to ourselves.
Quietening that critical voice within that keeps nagging us, mostly telling us that we are either no good enough or we are falling short of something somewhere. Pay attention to this self-talk.
Our brain is wired in a way that the more we feed it with critical talk, it accepts the feed.
The only way to rewire it or apply neuroplasticity is to change the story and the narrative.
Accept the fact that we are all imperfect beings and also acknowledge the fact that we should be kind to ourselves.
A lot of negative emotions like fear, guilt, shame have the same effect as sleep deprivation and research suggests that self-compassion and kindness ease the are of the pre-frontal cortex.
The self-talks if negative do become a habit and in turn, lead to stress and a certain level of anxiety.
Practicing self-compassion has remarkable effects on our self-esteem and it starts with a very simple thought of simply being kind to ourselves. It's time to stop beating yourself up. Compassion should start with us, only then can we show compassion to others around us. Show yourself some love:)


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

itadaki Mas - The Japanese thank you for the meal at the table .

 頂きます(いただきます) to receive; to get; to accept; to take (humble). This explains why you say it before you eat. You're "receiving" food, after all. Itadakimasu (and its dictionary form itadaku 頂く いただ ) comes from Japan's roots in Buddhism, which teaches respect for all living things. I was introduced to itadaki masu by my Japanese friend Etsuko who had dinner with us at my home in Lonavala. It turned out that Etsuko had a sudden pasta craving and wanted me to cook some for her.  Before our meal, Etsuko thanked my mother with clasped palms as a gesture of gratitude, for the hands that cook our meals. Etsuko then introduced us to the concept of itadak imasu and also told us that this meant saying thank you to everyone in the chain of food distribution - bringing to mind the farmer and his family, the truck driver who drives the produce to the city and so on . A second of thought is given to each person in this chain of bringing food to our table. At that point, I remember b...

Are you a people pleaser?

A people pleaser maybe some one who just cannot say no, at the cost of making other people happy. It could mean that you want to avoid conflict. Most often than not people pleasing is simply exhausting. Where does people pleasing come from? Sometimes from the need to be accepted . Fear of rejection is a driver that makes most of us become people pleasers. A constant sense to indicate that you may be hurting the other person by saying no. People pleasing would mean constantly allowing people to cross your boundaries. It is therefore important to reflect and understand what your boundaries are . While it is seen as a nice trait in people at a superficial level , it can be equally damaging. You may find people taking you for granted. You may find yourself physically or emotionally drained. You may find yourself ending up in an abusive situation. Being nice to people, may not always be a good at the cost of your peace and the rate of emotional depletion. Learning to say No doesn’t come int...

Millenials chup baithe the?

\ ​ Over the past 10 days, it has occurred to me that people have been asking, “Millennials chup baithe the?” or “Millennials ne apne time mein kiya kya?” The honest answer, as a millennial, is: “Not Enough.” We were not a generation of revolutionaries on the scale that your generation has been. We are a generation that grew up at a time, when life, from our perspective, seemed relatively normal. Personally, I do not remember an incident that demanded a collective voice of action. But in hindsight, perhaps we could have spoken up. We were taught to put our heads down, listen to our elders and keep quiet. Don’t talk back. Respect anyone who was older than you. We could not question our teachers for fear of being reprimanded. Our biggest act of rebellion was coming home at 6:15 p.m. when our curfew was 6:00 p.m. We had to study, find a job and live our lives. Never challenge the status quo. That’s why many of us didn’t even know how to negotiate a salary or ask our bosses for leave. We w...