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Living in the moment .. Part 1





 

I have often wondered if happiness was subjective.  It did seem like. We attach happiness to a variety of aspects of our life our family, partners, friends , job etc. Most of these are external factors.  While there are highs and lows, but self - what do we dwell on ?


Over a period of time you realize that it is perfectly simple and you create your own inner joy . You create your own happiness and you alone have the capacity to make up your mind to be happy.

 

We often associate our sadness to a particular incident that may have happened 10 or 20 years ago . Each of us go through a series of life experiences, ranging from good to bad to horrifying .

But then we need to stop and think for ourselves if we can let those incidents derail our own sense of feeling joyful. Our brain has been wired to a particular way of thinking and we are some times very unaware of our thought patterns . For eg. We have a thought saying, "I am not good at this . Now where has this thought come from , did some teacher tell you this when you were a child or did a parent say something in fit of anger. Subsequently our mind tends to tell  us that this core belief is true . It is very important that we take cognizance of our negative core beliefs.

One negative thought results in a automatic chain which may be called NATS ( Negative Automatic Thoughts) . Now these thoughts then influence our mood and feelings .

We sit with them , we dwell on them . It is almost like quicksand, where you deeper and deeper and finally you find yourself gasping for breath. That’s where most of our anxiety comes from , the thinking pattern or our physiological response to an event which may last for just a few seconds or minutes .

 

Imagine two people who have gone through horrifying Holocaust, one person decides to write a book about the experience, while the other manifests thoughts that are extremely damaging.  Be the person who writes that story. Even a negative experience makes you who you are . Its easier said than done. But it is true, that a lot of people use their trauma to create something absolutely beautiful.

 

While it is perfectly normal for these thoughts to cross our mind, to allow them to breed is a constant choice we make . Now this choice, further determines our image of our self, the people around us and finally the world at large. We begin to believe that the world is a bad place. I am unlucky or I should have done that instead.  Regret and a series of more damaging thought processes.

 

It is almost like having a conversation with yourself and saying . Listen Mr. Mind or whoever you are - I have heard you ,  but let me make a choice. I do not believe in that negative thought . Let me spin it around for you. Slowly but surely , the mind will begin to get rewired and trained to think differently. It is process , but you got to trust the process.

 

Some of the things that may be helpful :

  • Self care - Make time for yourself . Take at least 10 minutes of the day . Do something you absolutely love - could be very silly - like playing a game. Or could something like listening to your favorite song . Maybe cook - see if you can smell the ingredients - Enjoy the process. See if that one thing makes you smile. The next day pick up your second favorite thing to do and so on. Wake up the inner child inside of you.
  • Exercise - Even 10 mins of stretching or a walk can do wonders to your daily routine. Simple easy yoga . Again this time is for yourself.
  • Meditation - Use guided meditation techniques from YouTube or other apps. There are many 5 minute videos available. Understand that meditation is just the process of focusing on your breath and the breath is a reminder of present moment.
  • Practice Gratefulness : Once you practice gratefulness you begin to change your focus from what you have versus what you do not have.  You will see how full your life is .
  •  Practice Kindness : Be kind to yourself . Try not be self critical. Being kind to yourself will give you the space to be kind to others .
  • Create a routine : Make a to do list when you are sipping your coffee. Put the smallest things on the list. for. eg . watering the plants. Keep coming back to your list and strike off things your have completed. It is a good feel good factor.
  • Pick up something new to learn: Remember when you were little you loved animals - look up reading material or take up a course. Or you want to dance / paint / fly  . Remember its never too late.

 

Focus on the present moment and the day today . That perhaps is the only way.

 

Much love.


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